I am sitting home alone with Leah while the others have gone to church. I have taxed her little body by getting her in the shower, so now she is relaxing horizontal on the couch trying to recover from the relentless spinning in her head. The spiced tea that didn’t get made on Thanksgiving is waiting on the stove for the kids return. I decided to work on the greenery and lights on the staircase. This has become my favorite Christmas decoration, not because of its beauty, not because of how the kids pretty much think I am the Martha Stewart of Christmas decorations because I do it, but because of what it represents.

I put the greenery up a few years ago for the first time ever. I had wanted to do it for much longer than that, but circumstances got in the way. Finally, one year, I decided it was time. You see for many years prior the decorating for Christmas was hard. It seemed like decorating required energy I didn’t have and so I did what was required in order for my kids to feel the joy and excitement of Christmas, but I didn’t do a bit more. Because, quite frankly, when you know that one of your children is going to struggle on Christmas just to function in daily life, the leading up to it seems silly. But then, I put up the greenery.

As I twisted that greenery and hung those lights it was like a freedom came over my heart to rejoice. Not in the decorations, not in the joy most of my children felt for the season, not even in our circumstances changing, but freedom to rejoice in the one for whom the season is about. Christmas came back to life that year because my focus was redirected. Life continued on with exactly the same struggles. My mother’s heart broke daily, hourly – really every minute – for a child who was asked to struggle with something bigger than most adults can handle, and yet, Emmanuel was there. His grace was abiding with us every second of our day, and if my focus was right, I could see it – or at least believe that it was the only reason we were able to carry on as a family.

So as the greenery went up this morning I was reminded that even if Leah has to lay flat the entire Christmas season, even if all the plans we have laid have to be readjusted, even if she doesn’t get to see the decorations until one of us carries her up to bed this evening, Emmanuel is here. He is the only reason we decorate and celebrate, and that will not be forgotten, ignored or linger in the background this Christmas season at the Bernadsky house. We may not be able to walk through every live nativity but we will see that Baby Jesus in everything we do and we will be ever grateful for a Heavenly Father who sacrificed his Son that we might know joy and peace every day, in every circumstance.

Thanksgiving was a bust for me as I spent it in the hospital with Leah – but it didn’t change how thankful I am for a list too long to record. So Christmas will come and go – how that plays out is yet to be determined – but I can promise you this, a merry Christmas will ring in the heart of every Bernadsky because our focus will stand on Jesus! Praying a Merry Christmas to everyone as your focus is directed to the only reason for the season – Jesus.

Kelly